On redefining pain and low points: a life-saving perspective shift
pour me some hopecore, please
It's currently 11.30 pm and I just got out of a 30-minute shower where I stood under the showerhead bawling while listening to classical piano music. Just one of those days? Maybe, but sometimes I can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with me... anyway.
These days I feel like the world is closing in on me. Like I'm on a never-ending roller coaster ride with a surprise at every turn.
I'm starting to realize that I don't know shit. The quote "I know one thing, that I know nothing" from my lovely ancestor Socrates really hits right now. (I'm Greek btw, slay)
I honestly felt more put together and wise at 20 than I do now, at 24.
Is my prefrontal cortex finally developing? Is it an eye-opening year for me astrologically? Is it just normal? Is everybody around me also going through this? Cause this shh* is tough.
I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs. And fortunately or unfortunately, I'm too awakened at this point to let myself drown my feelings without recognizing, accepting, and processing them. So, shower crying session and journaling entry it is.
I'm starting to get really tired of the constant questioning and searching, the constant dealing with emotions, thoughts, and reactions. I'm starting to feel tired and worn out. I'm starting to feel hopeless, overstimulated, and alone. And I'm sadly starting to realize why the majority of the people around me are miserable (I'm such a positive and unbothered person that I used to find it weird and inexplainable when I was younger). If I, knowing so much about spirituality, self-care, psychology, etc. struggle so much, I can't even imagine what it must be like for them.
You see, I love being alive. I love the feeling of experiencing my favorite melodies. I love the feeling of hugging my lover. I love the feeling of laughing with my girlfriends till I can't breathe. I love the feeling of my heart vibrating to the music while I dance with my eyes closed in a club.
However, I still seem to struggle with the other end of the spectrum. I still struggle to accept that pain, sadness, and despair are necessary parts of life. Why do I have to feel this way? How do I make it go away? What can I do to avoid it?
I know. I know that positive and negative is the structure of the entire universe. I know that in order to go up, you need to go down to be able to gather powers and jump up again.
I know that my triggers, emotions, and pain are the greatest teachers for me.
I also know that playing it safe in life and not taking risks in order to avoid pain is not the way to live.
And I also acknowledge that pain, like everything else, is temporary.
I just can't shake the feeling that being down is a waste of my precious time here on earth. I can't shake the feeling that those low vibrational emotions/thoughts are seeping into my energy field and body and messing me up. I struggle to get out of the negative loop and I somehow tend to make myself feel weak or crazy for feeling and going through what I do.
But, what if I were to start embracing and romanticizing pain?
What if I started viewing my low points as the catapult I need to move into the next, exhilarating phase of my life?
What if I took a step back and realized that I'm a limitless soul that chose to enter this plane to feel, struggle, and evolve?
What if I realized that getting to feel the whole spectrum of emotions and live the human experience to its fullest is a privilege I must honor?
What if I took the time to nurture and improve myself in those times instead of pushing them away in urgency like they're useless and evil?
What if I recognized my bravery and felt proud of myself for every time I sat with those painful feelings and got up from the trenches?
What if I left the mindset of good and bad behind? What if I stopped identifying with and obsessing over every thought and emotion? What if I begin to just let those painful waves pass through me and move on?
What if I started treating my storms as the vital water that makes the seeds I plant grow?
What if I started treating the wounds like the necessary holes that allow my inner light to shine?
What if I started grading my days based on the degree of presence and not by the degree of happiness?
Well, maybe then I'd be able to experience pain peacefully, discard my unwanted/negative thoughts gracefully, and smile politely in acceptance, to the painful emotions passing through my body.
Maybe then, every negative, painful situation would turn into a warm, comforting cocoon I go to every once in a while to come out even brighter, wiser, and happier (we have a thing or two to learn from butterflies).
Maybe then I'd be grateful for each moment and truly start living.
And maybe it's time to actually embody the hopecore philosophy I enjoy so much.
What is hopecore you ask? Hopecore is pretty much an aesthetic and philosophy based on hope, with the goal of reminding us that life is beautiful and fragile.
When I'm feeling down, empty, or lost I find myself scrolling through 30-slide TikTok carousel posts with quotes, Reddit posts, poems, movie snippets etc. that focus on hope and love.
It truly warms my heart and never fails to make me cry when I open the comments and see thousands of people that feel the same way I do, sharing their hopeful thoughts. I'm suddenly seen, validated, understood.
(example accounts on TikTok: @_bekindtoday_ , @fortnitegamer10111999 take a look when you have the time, you won’t be sorry)
It's time we all started viewing our pain and low points in a completely different way.
It's time we all started living by love, hope, and light.
It's time we all poured some hopecore into our cups.
While we're getting there, here are some of my favorite ways to deal with those low points and painful states:
Go to the gym and do sprints or lift weights while listening to hardcore techno. Push yourself and release all that energy and anger, and sadness. You can't imagine how liberated you'll feel after. Some song recommendations: Rampage by Bollman, Freedom Inside Your Illness by Infeed, Bounce Back by Acidus, Obsession by Rian Wood.
Take a long bath and sit under running water. Feel free to cry your heart out. You can also use the mantra "I set the intention this water is cleansing my whole body and aura from all unwanted, negative energy". This will help you tremendously on a physical, psychological, and spiritual level, water is truly healing.
Go for a ride and scream songs that apply to your situation at the top of your lungs. Bonus points if it's a night ride in empty streets. You can also do this while laying on your bed and staring at the ceiling. Release that energy, clear that throat chakra.
Journal journal journal or write a letter to whoever hurt you. Bonus points if you burn it after. Everyone underestimates the power of putting your thoughts onto paper. This will truly help you realize where you stand and let go.
So, that's it for now.
It's 1 am here, so time to log off and binge Friends before I go to sleep. I'm personally feeling so so so much better, and I hope this journal entry did the same for you. I hope I helped you challenge your mindset around pain and improved your life juuust a little. If you feel like more people need to hear this, feel free to
Thank you for joining me, see you next time sunshine <333
P.S. Don't forget that you're literally magical stardust, worthy of all the love and peace, capable of anything you dream of xxxxxx